Home...sweet...home. My flight from London was a breeze. I landed at DFW around 4pm yesterday....all my luggage arrived and I had no problems getting through customs. Mom, Julie, Kalie and Cole were at the airport to welcome me home...it was so fun to see them! And Cole did a fantastic job of pushing all 4 of my bags to the car for me...he's getting so big! It felt a little weird walking into our house for the first time in 8 weeks. But, thanks to the lovely couple who stayed at our house while we were gone, our little home was spotless and in tip top shape. All of the lamps were on, food in the fridge and our mail was already sorted into categories....what a blessing! Chloe and Kaci were very excited to see me....I think they were a little confused at first, but we got back into the grove very quickly! I managed to stay up until 10pm last night (it was rough) hoping that I would sleep late this morning and ease the jet lag a bit. Unfortunately I'm wide awake at 5:30am as I write the blog post. The pups are looking at me right now like I've completely lost my mind!
There's definitely no place like home. I'm so thankful to be back safely and praise Jesus for his protection over me. Along with the excitement of being home and looking forward to all of the changes that are around the corner, I'm also filled with some guilt, anxiety and fear...a bit of culture shock, I guess. I feel guilt over the fact that I came home to a nice house and slept in a warm bed last night when some of my girls in Zambia probably slept outside in the cold. I'm anxious about returning to work next week, preparing the house for baby, figuring out our finances and who is going to watch the baby when I go back to work....the list could go on and on and on. I'm fearful that I will quickly return to the selfishness and the hustle and bustle of American life and lose perspective on what really matters. Life in Zambia is just so much simpler...and because of the simplicity, life just seems easier and more manageable there. God seems bigger and more real to me there. I feel useful there....like I'm actually doing something with eternal rewards, not worldly ones. I know that all of these fears and worries are not from the Lord....they are tactics that satan in cleverly using to distract me...I haven't even been home for 24 hours and I'm already falling into his sneaky traps. I am not going to let the devil win this battle!
Whether in Zambia or Dallas, I'm clinging to God's promise that "the Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound..." Isaiah 61:1
I will proclaim that "The JOY of the LORD is MY strength!" Nehemiah 8:10
There's definitely no place like home. I'm so thankful to be back safely and praise Jesus for his protection over me. Along with the excitement of being home and looking forward to all of the changes that are around the corner, I'm also filled with some guilt, anxiety and fear...a bit of culture shock, I guess. I feel guilt over the fact that I came home to a nice house and slept in a warm bed last night when some of my girls in Zambia probably slept outside in the cold. I'm anxious about returning to work next week, preparing the house for baby, figuring out our finances and who is going to watch the baby when I go back to work....the list could go on and on and on. I'm fearful that I will quickly return to the selfishness and the hustle and bustle of American life and lose perspective on what really matters. Life in Zambia is just so much simpler...and because of the simplicity, life just seems easier and more manageable there. God seems bigger and more real to me there. I feel useful there....like I'm actually doing something with eternal rewards, not worldly ones. I know that all of these fears and worries are not from the Lord....they are tactics that satan in cleverly using to distract me...I haven't even been home for 24 hours and I'm already falling into his sneaky traps. I am not going to let the devil win this battle!
Whether in Zambia or Dallas, I'm clinging to God's promise that "the Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound..." Isaiah 61:1
I will proclaim that "The JOY of the LORD is MY strength!" Nehemiah 8:10
3 comments:
Just a little reminder to let you know that 5:30 am will be the norm pretty soon.
zoe slept till 8:45 on sunday! babywise :) put it on your book list!
I love that verse! And I am encouraged by your desire to want to live that out in Zambia or Dallas! :) I've enjoyed reading about y'all's time in Zambia... what an awesome blessing! :) Congratulations on your baby! :)
Lori "Jones" Ernst
P.S. Ours is coming any day now (hopefully) and we're being surprised too! :) YAY! :)
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